performance essay final draft

hi I have attached the rough draft and the edits my teacher has suggested, thank you.

Overview: Our final project is about bringing together the ideas explored in this course. You will continue with the concept of performance and create an argument (thesis) driven, formal essay about the aspect of performance you wish to research.
Prerequisite: Proposal
Assignment: For this essay you are creating an analysis of a topic centered on the concept of performance using resources from the work done on the previous projects: Reflection, JSTOR Essay Analysis, and Proposal. For this essay, you are going to create a researched, thesis-driven argument about an aspect of performance. As in the JSTOR Essay Analysis, you may pick any aspect of performance that fits within the scope, or your may continue with the same idea you analyzed in the JSTOR Essay Analysis. Examples include employee performance, testing performance, theatre performance, etc. Your argument should be your idea (argument) about your chosen topic. For example, if you are discussing theatre and performance, you may take the stance of Artaud, and argue that modern theatre no longer connects to the audience (and you may bring in Artaud as a source in this instance). Another example could be arguing that testing performance can inhibit a true interpretation of a student’s learning capabilities. Again, focus on an aspect of performance you wish to explore. There will be several modules and assignments, such as the Proposal, that ask you to submit elements of the essay before it is due. As always, please email me with any questions.

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Tips:
• For this analysis you are creating a thesis you will argue throughout the scope of the essay. Please review the Thesis PowerPoint to help you develop a thesis statement that works for the scope of the assignment.
• Your argument should be a claim that is debatable and can be explored. Remember when you are bringing in your research, you need to help support your points, as well as bring in possible counter points and sources to help develop your ideas.
• This assignment is asking your take on course concepts and develop a global, larger argument. I want to see your ideas grow in your essay.
Format: 1,800-2,000 words, formal essay, MLA format, and Works Cited. Three sources are required in your Works Cited. You may go over this limit (but not under), and you must cite any source you are using to develop your argument in the essay.
Grading: Please see the rubric and remember that a strong essay answers the prompt with a strong thesis statement, supports that claim in well organized, multiple paragraphs throughout the essay, and meets the format requirements.
Weight: 30%

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